


Tomorrow is another day...

by Mad_Amethyst



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean Has Self-Worth Issues, Gen, POV Castiel, POV Dean Winchester, POV Third Person Limited, Post-Episode: s10e09 The Things We Left Behind, Pre-Episode: s10e10 The Hunter Games, Season/Series 10, Season/Series 10 Spoilers, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-02 12:33:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2812142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mad_Amethyst/pseuds/Mad_Amethyst
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a sequel to "Nightmare or reality?", but it can be read separately as a conclusion to "The Things We Left Behind" (10x09).</p><p>Dean wants to be alone after what happened in that house, but certain people don't agree with that.</p><p>(I added two chapters to make a link with the beginning of "The Hunter Games" (10x10).)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tomorrow is another day...

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the TV show or its characters. I only use them for my own joy/suffering...
> 
> If you haven't read that yet, here is the prequel: [Nightmare or reality?](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2759942)
> 
> Thanks to my beta reader, [Sweety_Mutant](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweety_Mutant/pseuds/Sweety_Mutant), for noting my mistakes! XD
> 
> Oh, and I wanna point out that Cas and Dean are not in a relationship here! There are unsaid feelings between them, and that's all!

Sammy helped him to get out of the house – in his confused state, he let himself be directed. Outside was Cas, trying to reassure Claire with a hug and heartwarming words. As they came, Dean saw Claire flinch, and he felt bad. Really bad. He realized what the poor girl had seen back in that house. Such a bloody scene engraved in her mind… If he didn’t already feel guilty, he would do for sure in regards to her.

“We should go back to the bunker,” said Sammy, then. “We don’t wanna be here when the cops’ll show up.”

Dean felt nauseous, being the reason why the cops would be here in the first place… He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes a short moment to fight his disgust. When he reopened them, he saw his brother turn himself towards Cas and Claire to add, “You can stay if you want to. We have a few free rooms back there. You could take the time to decide what you wanna do exactly after a good night’s sleep.”

Really, Sammy? A good night’s sleep? Who here would sleep well tonight? No one, for sure. Because of him and his fucking lack of control…

“Thanks, Sam, but—” began Cas, his voice unsure. Dean knew precisely what this idiot meant to say, so he chose to stop him with some intent look. He would not allow him to flee! Not after breaking his promise! Moreover, the girl had nowhere to go, and she needed some rest – a little, at least – especially after all these events.

As expected, the angel didn’t dare to finish his sentence. He gulped and finally nodded at Sammy, “You’re right. We don’t know what to do for now. We accept your generosity with pleasure.”

And that’s how they all climbed in the Impala, Sammy at the wheel, Dean in the passenger seat and the two others in the back. Dean didn’t argue with his brother to drive. When asked, he simply gave him the keys. Frankly, he was a mess. He felt tired, depressed, unworthy and a ton of others not positive things… He sat silent, looking absently at the window, wishing to disappear more than ever before…

 

As soon as they entered in the bunker, he said hastily, “Make yourself at home. If you need anything, just ask Sam.” After what he dashed to his room without waiting for an answer. He wanted to be alone. He was certain that his dear brother intended to have a serious talk about him and the Mark of Cain… The thing was, he didn’t want to. What was done was done. It was irrevocable. He already knew there was no hope for him, no redemption, no escape, no future, no happy end… He tried to, for Sammy, for the people who loved him… And that was the outcome…

Suddenly, his thoughts were cut off by someone who knocked on the door. Dean, lying on his stomach, muttered a curse.

“Dean…”

 Great… He knew it… Sammy was so predictable…

“Dean, let me in. We need to talk about what happened.”

“No, _YOU_ need to talk about that,” he retorted angrily. He plunged his head in his pillow, wishing for a few seconds of peace.

“Dean, it’s important. Whatever the Mark has—”

Dean bluntly turned his head on the side. “You know what, Sammy? Screw you!” he yelled, more and more upset. “I’m tired, I just wanna sleep.”

He heard the sight behind the door, and soon his brother answered, “Fine. I get it. But don’t think it’s over. We’ll talk tomorrow, if it helps you to wait.” And then he left.

Nothing could help him at this point. He didn’t feel human… It was even worse than that time when he had been turned into a vampire… At least, then, he succeeded in not killing another human being… In that house, this evening, how many had he murdered? And no crap excuse like he had no choice! He obviously had. He could have hurt them enough to escape safely. It would have been a good end where no one had to die instead of this bloodshed… Shit…

He turned around to look at the ceiling. He said he was tired, which was true, and yet he didn’t want to sleep… God, it was hard to admit, but he was afraid of sleeping… What if that nightmare came again? Worse, what if he saw _his work_?

That’s when there was another knock on the door.

“Fuck, Sammy, I thought I had been very clear!”

“It’s Castiel,” announced the low, grave and familiar voice of the angel.

Huh? What the dude was doing here?

“What do you want?” asked Dean, his tone rude – he didn’t still forgive his betrayal. “Shouldn’t you be playing the _surrogate_ father with the Novak girl, spoiling her with hugs, making sure she’s okay?”

“Don’t worry. Claire’s sound asleep. Thank you for the room, by the way. She needed this.”

Awesome… He forgot the guy didn’t often get irony…

“Cas. What do you want?” he repeated, weary.

“I understand you being angry. I’m here to apologize.”

“If you’re sorry, respect your fucking word,” he shot back without hiding his disappointment. “Do what you have to do.”

“It’s not why I’m offering my apologies. I was not aware of how difficult it was for you to fight the Mark of Cain. I asked for your help despite your condition. I feel responsible for your actions tonight.”

It was too much. Dean was so fed up with this crap. He rolled out of bed, rushed at the door and opened it with a large move after having unbolted the lock. “Get in,” he ordered at the angel, his look insistent.

Cas obeyed. He seemed a bit uncomfortable. “Dean—” No! It was not going to happen!

“Shut up, okay? I don’t care what you’re thinking. _I_ am the one who have gone berserk. It’s _my_ responsibility to wear. Not _yours_. Your only sin has been to let me live even though you saw what I’m capable of.”

“But you’re still hu—”

“I told you, Cas, I can’t go down that road again. I’m maybe not currently _this thing_ , but I—” He gulped, trying to keep his cool. “Look, I don’t want to be a monster… and I definitely feel like one right now…”

The angel stared at him with sad eyes – it was hard to bear. “Dean, I—”

“You made me a promise, Cas.”

The guy lowered his eyes, probably ashamed to have let him down. Good. He deserved that much.

“I— I can’t. There must be another way. I’ll help you to get rid of the Mark of Cain, Dean, I swear.”

Dean glared at him, even if it was pointless – Cas couldn’t have seen him anyway. “I don’t care. I don’t believe you anymore. You’re just a liar. Oh, and a coward too,” he coldly replied. Then, he clenched his fists while he added, “I was counting on you, man!”

The angel raised his head. Regret was visible on his face. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Of course you are… You always are…”

Dean knew he was unfair. If he was asked the same from Cas, he couldn’t do this without hesitation. He would try to find another way too.

“Dean—”

“Forget it,” he sighted, rubbing his temples because of a growing headache. “I shouldn’t have put such a weight on you. You have others worries. I’m not your priority.”

“You are,” said the angel with no doubt in his voice, as he came nearer.

Then, Dean stepped backwards. “No, I’m not. You have your mission with your angel buddies or whatever it is you’re actually doing. And now there is this girl, the Novak’s daughter. If you wanna take charge of her, you can’t be on various fronts at once.”

At that, Cas tilted his head and shot him a confused look. “Are you asking me to choose between Claire and you?”

“No, Cas, I’m just stating the facts. You have no time to worry about me. And I understand. It’s useless. I’m already lost.”

“Don’t say that.” The angel seemed upset in every sense of the word.

“Or what? It could hardly be worse.”

“Have you no faith?”

“We had this conversation before, and you know the answer for sure,” he retorted with a shrug.

Cas went dangerously closer. His eyes, filled with seriousness and resolution, captured his. “No, not in my Father. Have you no faith in your brother? In me?”

Dean could feel his bed against his legs, just behind him. Great… He had no escape anymore. “I don’t know. Should I?” he replied, defying the angel, maintaining his gaze.

“Tell me, Dean, why are you so wary around me? Around Sam? What is scaring you so much?”

Dean gritted his teeth. “It’s enough, Cas. Leave me alone.”

“No. Let me indicate you what you are so afraid of. You are afraid, because Sam and I continue caring about you. You are afraid, because you matter to us, whatever you do. The only thing you wish is for us to despise you. Sorry to disappoint you, but it’s not going to happen. We are not afraid _of_ you, Dean. We are afraid _for_ you.”

He already knew it. And it was the entire problem. He didn’t want that. He didn’t deserve that… When Cas looked at him like that, with concern – God, with _love_! – it only hurt… Fucking hell, he was just a bloody killer! He was poison corrupting whoever he touched! How could he have the right to be loved?!

The staring contest was going on, and Dean felt like the angel was boring into his soul to study him. He really wanted to stop, but he couldn’t – it was not in his character to give up a fight.

“You should sleep,” said suddenly Cas, his gaze still too intense. “You need rest.”

“No shit Sherlock. The thing is, I can’t.”

The angel frowned. He seemed confused. “The Mark of Cain is satiated. You should be at peace for a while.”

“You must be kidding! You really believe I’ll fucking sleep well and sound after this crap?” he snapped. He was feeling the urge to punch the guy, and he struggled to not to.

“I can help you with that, at least.” And then the angel moved two fingers at Dean’s forehead without his consent.

“You, sonofa…” But he couldn’t resist. His strength was failing him.

He felt Cas catching hold of him and he heard him whispering at his ear, “Let it go. I’ll watch over you.”

“Thanks, but no thanks,” wanted to retort Dean. However, the blackness was already on him. Oh, well, fuck. This idiot could just as good do that.


	2. But tomorrow is still far away...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After seeing "The Hunter Games" (10x10), I wanted to make a link between my conclusion of "The Things We Left Behind" (10x09) and the beginning of this episode. I chose to add chapters in this fanfiction instead of creating a new one, because it seemed more fitting. There are two new chapters, since the first one is Castiel's POV and the second one is Dean's.
> 
> I'm really late at publishing it, as I waited for my dear beta reader to correct it (she was very busy in second semester, and I didn't want to bother her before she finished her exams).

Castiel was sitting on the end of the bed, observing Dean sleeping, the way his mouth was a bit opened and his chest was regularly getting up and falling. Meanwhile, his mind wandered on this promise he couldn’t respect. For his defense, he didn’t know what he was committing to when his friend had asked this promise from him…

“It was cruel of you…” he whispered, his eyes staring at Dean’s peaceful sleeping face. “You know what I sacrificed for you, but still you—” He stopped, too frustrated, and sighed loudly.

He didn’t like these _emotions_ , these heavy feelings preventing him to think clearly. He was worried. What was he supposed to do if Dean became a demon again? Would he have the strength to do what had to be done…? He didn’t think so… He needed to find a solution. He wanted to believe a permanent cure existed. And maybe he had even a little idea of who could know that.

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by some voices raising further in the bunker. It appeared two persons were quarrelling. He frowned, confused. Who could it be? Apart from Dean and him, the only other people in the bunker were Sam and— Oh. He opened wide his eyes as he realized. Claire. She had awakened. Had she had a nightmare? Was she panicking?

He reluctantly left the bed to leave. But he paused at the door and turned over, looking towards Dean with concern. He didn’t want to let him alone in his room, even for a short moment, not when he had said he would watch over him. Yet he didn’t really have a choice. Dean would surely understand… Anyway, it wouldn’t be long. With this thought in mind, he got out.

In the corridor, the voices were much clearer. It was coming from the hall.

“Let me go! You have no right!” screamed Claire in a furious tone. Castiel felt a curious anxiety fill him, what convinced him to hurry up.

“Claire, please, listen to me,” Sam said, trying certainly to calm her.

“No! I don’t want to! Just let me go!”

“Look, I can’t—”

Castiel silenced them by opening the door. “What exactly is happening here?” he asked, frowning before the curious scene. Sam was holding Claire back, but she was fiercely struggling, his eyes filled with fury.

“Thank God, Cas, you’re here!” Sam sighed, looking at him with relief. He must have loosened his grip on Claire’s arm, because next second she freed herself and grumbled at him. At that, the tall man raised his hands and stepped back, probably as a sign of peace. “Calm down, okay? I’m going to let you two settle this together.”

Castiel hid his smile. It was funny to see Sam being so wary of Claire. She was just a young girl. Definitely not a danger for someone like him.

Sam was holding the door open when he turned towards him to say “Well, Cas… good luck.” And then, he was fast gone.

Castiel frowned again and tilted his head from one side, puzzled. Good luck for what? Did he miss something?

Suddenly, the young girl was in his sight, with her arms crossed over her chest, glaring at him. “How could you, Castiel? Why did you make me come here, in these people’s house?”

Castiel felt taken by surprise. He didn’t understand what he had done wrong. “What is the issue? Is the bed not so comfortable?”

“I don’t care about the bed, you idiot!” replied Claire with anger, punching him on the chest. “It could be the best bed of the entire world I still wouldn’t want to be there!”

“But, back then, you didn’t express your disag—”

“I was in shock! Of course I didn’t react! It’s common sense to not get me near this… this murderer! What he made to Randy, it was just… awful…”

Oh. Yes, it made sense. Claire seemed really attached to that human Dean had killed. To her, Randy was a guardian, a sort of father figure – a poor one, in his opinion, but it was not time to debate on the subject. In any case, she loved this man and felt obligated to him. It was not so surprising she had a hard time to deal with his death, and being so close of the person at fault was surely not helping.

“I know a hotel not so far from here. I can book you a room for a few days, if you wi—”

“Just do it, then! I can’t stay in that place any longer!”

He nodded. “Wait a minute. I have to inform Sam first.”

Then, Castiel moved at the room where his friend escaped before. Sam was sat on a chair, reading a book. “So?” he asked, looking up at him.

“Claire absolutely asks to leave. I’m going to conduct her in another safe place. I’ll go back as soon as possible.”

Sam sighed, closing his book before running his hand through his hair. “It’s probably better like that. Sorry, I shouldn’t have—”

“Don’t be sorry. It was kind of you to invite us,” interrupted gently Castiel. He didn’t want for Sam to feel guilty of anything. It was his own fault if he didn’t have understood Claire like he should have.

“Anyway, take the time you need, Cas. We’re not going anywhere soon…”

Even so, he didn’t want to be away for too long. If he could, he didn’t want to disappoint Dean again by not respecting his word.

“Thank you, Sam.”

And, with that, Castiel left the bunker with the young girl, while hoping Dean wouldn’t wake up in his absence.


	3. And sometimes you can’t just sleep it off…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short, I know. But it is my conclusion, and I'm satisfied with that. ^^

Dean woke up suddenly, plagued with memories of blood and corpses. As he realized he was lying on his bed, he looked around, restless. The lamps still were switched on, but it seemed he was alone in his room. Well, that was weird. Why did he think there would be someone else, in the first place?

He furrowed his brows as he sat on the edge of the bed, trying to remember when he had fallen asleep. Then, memories came to him of Cas putting two fingers on his forehead.

“The bastard!” he exclaimed angrily. He truly didn’t like that when the angel used his mojo on him. It made him uncomfortable. Besides, it wasn’t his own grace Cas had in him for now, so he should be extra careful to not waste it! Especially for someone like Dean…

Speaking of Cas, Dean also recalled his last words: “I’ll watch over you.” Well, what a way to do it! The guy was definitely a liar… He surely left as soon he was sure Dean was sound asleep… Fine! Why should he be affected by that? He didn’t care. If something, he was glad about it! It would have been too creepy to wake up at the angel’s face, anyway.

A tingling sensation in his arm abruptly brought back him to reality. The Mark of Cain, of course. He had no break with this thing… It was constantly reminding him his presence, itching beneath his skin, like a parasite… He gripped his arm. He felt so sick now. His mind was plagued with flashbacks of his last loss of control, the blade slicing these guys, the smell of blood in the room, his confusing state. All of it awakened his feeling of guiltiness again… He was not sure of what he was anymore…

Getting up, he moved towards the mirror standing on the chest of drawers and he stared at his reflection through the glass pieces. He almost expected his eyes to become black. But no, it was not happening. Well, that didn’t change the fact he didn’t like what he saw… He had the impression of being like that mirror: broken. A poor excuse of a human being…

He turned away from the mirror, feeling more and more depressed. He was afraid. Afraid of losing his humanity… again… He was feeling remorse for what he had done back there, but for how long? He didn’t have any control on the Mark… It would make him kill again, sometime, and he could do nothing to stop it… He was a danger for everybody…

At that, he clenched his hands. Enough! He had to pull himself together! He could not hide forever. What was the fucking point of wallowing in self-pity, anyway? He had to talk to Sam. And Cas. This thing on his arm must disappear, by whatever means!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if adding these two chapters was a good idea. Maybe it was a waste of time for you. It was important to me, anyway.  
> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, don't hesitate to leave a kudo or a comment! :) It would make me happy! ^^


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